Uncle Tony
by Dark Side's Cookies
Summary: It's Tony's turn to baby sit the next generation. Jarvis, HELLLLP! M/M relationships, but no sex. Fluff! Read and Review. As always, Don't like. Don't Read. Don't Flame. Only Johnny is allowed to flame on, just not in the Tower! One Shot, may become a short series of one shots.


"Jarvis, bring the suit back online."

"_I'm sorry, sir, but my system has been overridden. I am not able to."_

Tony struggled in his suit, willing it to move, but it was unresponsive for some reason.

"Overridden? Jarvis!"

"_Sorry, sir. I have not been authorized."_

"Authorized? Who do you work for?"

"Just sit back and relax, Tony! We'll have you out of that can in no time."

Tony heard another voice and it took only a moment to recognize it's cocky tone.

"Storm?"

"Haha! And here I thought you'd think I was your loving Captain."

"Stowe it, Johnny. What the hell is going on?"

"Just relax, Tony."

Tony could swear he heard the douchebag snickering. Whatever the hell he had cooked up, it wasn't going to be good. Ever since the Avengers and the Fantastic Four started working together, the Avenger Tower has been nothing but an endless stream of hijinks, one of which almost incinerated Tony's lab. After that, Storm was forbidden from being able to "flame on" in the building. "_Buzzkill, man!"_ Tony shook his head, rolling his eyes behind his helmet.

Tony was tossed into a hold. He couldn't see out of his helmet, not with his own eyes, and not with the computer system embedded in the helmet. He had no idea where he was and what Johnny was doing with him. Beyond that, he had no idea how Johnny had hacked into his suit and overridden him.

He heard Johnny tap the top of his helmet. "Ok, I'm letting you out right... now!"

The suit flew open and Tony was ejected, flying forward. Somehow, he managed to land on his feet in the middle of the red, yellow and blue colored room. Glaring back the direction he came, he saw Johnny smiling at him and wiggling his fingers at him to say "buh-bye" before the door was shut and locked. Tony ran to the door. He was NOT doing this, not without help.

"Open this door!" He yelled at Jarvis again. "Jarvis!"

"_I'm sorry, sir. I cannot. It is your turn."_

"My turn! Fuck! None of them are even mine!"

He turned around to face the dreaded midgets, sighing heavily. He should have never agreed to this arrangement. It's not like he and Steve had any children of their own yet. He never thought they'd actually rope either of them into doing it. Steve had offered on several occasions, taking Tony's times when it came around, but Tony was sure he'd never have to do it. Steve wasn't around to take his turn for him today, and no one else wanted to step in.

"I don't know a goddamned thing about babies."

There were 6 of them. Reed and Sue's daughter was the oldest. Ben and Alicia's son. And then it started to get confusing. Clint and Natasha shared a child, a boy. Then she had a daughter with Bucky. Then she also gave birth to a daughter for Clint and Johnny. Tony never thought Tasha would have any children, let alone three. Then Thor had a son with Jane Foster and he and Loki were raising it. Whatever happened to her and made Loki … ok, so he was neutral at best... was beyond Tony. It seemed the only people around here who didn't have children were him and Steve and Bruce. Bruce had his reasons for not having children, and Tony respected them.

"Jarvis, can't you watch them?" Tony knew it was a pointless question, but he would do anything to get out of it.

"_I am sorry, sir. But I am not qualified to change a dirty diaper."_

Tony's eyes snapped to the youngest. Thor's son was barely three months old. He could smell the stinky diaper just as Jarvis had mentioned it.

"Oh, for the love of Christ! I can't change a diaper!"

"_I may not be able to do it myself, sir, but I do know how it is done. I can walk you through it."_

Tony grumbled under his breath and walked over to the baby, picking him up and holding him at arms length as he walked over to the changing table.

"It's fine, Jarvis. I think I can figure this out." He undid the clasps of the one piece suit the child wore and slid the tiny piece of clothing up over the young demi-god's head. Undoing the diaper, his eyes instantly started to water and he could barely breathe. "Celestial shit stinks!" He felt a hand cover his nose and he turned his gaze down to see Reed and Sue's daughter's arm stretching up to help him.

"Thank you, Richards."

The little girl giggled. "It's Suzie, Uncle Tony."

He'd still never get used to someone calling him Uncle Tony. He never had siblings of his own to have blood nieces and nephews, but with as close as all the Avengers were, they were all family.

Tony nodded his head. "Thanks, Suzy."

He turned his back to the stinky mess at hand. He had to get this taken care of before all the babies started passing out from the super got the diaper of, butt cleaned and everything, looking around to find something to throw it away in. Suzie stepped on the diaper genie, opening the lid. Tony didn't question her. Throwing it away, he turned back and met with a stream of urine directly spraying in his face.

Sputtering, Tony stepped back. "Jesus, mother-" He cut himself off wiping off his face, his tongue slithering out of his mouth in disgust. This was the worst thing that Tony had ever done. Grabbing a wipe, he wiped off his face.

"Uncle Tony!" Tony felt a hand grab at his pants, tugging at them to get his attention.

Tony looked down to see Clint and Tasha's son's face, wet with tears. "Uncle Tony, Shawon is puwwing my hair."

Tony had to think. Which one was Sharon? He did say Sharon, right? Had to be Bucky and Tasha's daughter. He looked around the room to see the Super Spies' daughter climbing on one of the play things in the corner. He almost yelled at the girl to get down, but when he saw her do a flip from the top and land on her feet, he stood there, mouth agape. Superheroes should not be allowed to breed, he thought to himself, turning back to the baby on the table.

Wait, where did the baby go? Tony looked around the room. Where the hell did Odinsons' son go? He scanned the room quickly, trying to find it. Then he saw him, slowly lowering himself into Grimm's son's arms. Arching an eyebrow, he had to admit, that was the weirdest thing he'd ever seen. Not that this day wasn't already weird, watching his co-workers' children.

"Hey, Grimm. Can you bring me over the flying wonder over there?"

The chubby little boy stood with the baby safely tucked in his pudgy arms, walking over to his Uncle Tony. He didn't say a word, but handed the child over silently. He didn't know how a child could be the perfect mixture of his parents, from his appearance, curly brown hair of his mother and the chubby body of his fathers, down to his temperament, silent and gruff. Shaking his head, he laid the demigod back on the table and put the diaper and outfit back on.

He put the littlest baby back in its … box. He didn't know what the thing was called. It looked like a jail cell with an open top. Poor kid. He was just going to fly out of it anyway. The cage should be closed on all ends if he was just going to fly away like that.

"Uncle Tony!"

Tony turned to the next voice calling to him. He saw Natasha and Bucky's daughter, holding herself between her legs. Wincing, he didn't like the sight of that.

"I gotsta potty!"

Tony's face flushed white, starting to panic. He couldn't help a two-year-old girl with that. Looking around the room, his eyes locked on Suzie Richards. "Please tell me you can handle this."

Suzie giggled. "I'll take her, Uncle Tony."

Tony walked over, falling back on a rocking chair. Closing his eyes, he wanted this day to be over. Why on Earth did Steve have to be gone today and why on Earth did the rest of the fuckers here at the Tower have to run off at the same time. Damned irresponsible. Groaning, he tried to relax. He'd been up against aliens, demons, super cyborgs... He was sure this was going to be the death of him.

Jumping, he felt a little body climbing up onto his lap. He saw Clint and Johnny's daughter climbing up on his lap, curling against his chest beneath his arc reactor and closing his eyes. Looking down at the little boy, Tony prodded at him with his fingers, but the kid was already zonked out. Deciding it was a lost battle, Tony closed his eyes as well and didn't even realize he'd fallen asleep until...

Tony felt lips brush across his and the voice of none other than the love of his life enter his ears. "Tony, baby. Wake up."

Tony's eyes slowly fluttered open and he thanked God it had just been a nightmare. He'd fallen asleep in his- he looked around. He wasn't in his lab. He was in the Tower nursery and he had not one, but three little ones curled up on his lap. Looking up at his lover, he pleaded with his eyes for Steve to help him.

"I have to say, Tony." Steve had his arms crossed over his chest, his face... Tony couldn't tell what the emotion was. He was impressed... maybe, but it was more than that. "This has to be the most endearing scene I've ever seen in my life."

Tony looked down at the children laying on his chest. They all seemed content, peacefully sleeping. He guessed he could understand what Steve was feeling right now. It was like when Steve had figured out a StarkTouch for the first time. Alright, so it was more than that, but it was the closest thing Tony could associate.

The two of them had talked about having children before, and it was Tony's fear of something like what he had went through today that had been what was stopping him. But the way Steve was looking at him, that love in his eyes for the only person he even wanted to have children with was enough to have Tony reconsidering. He wanted to make Steve happy. More than anything in this world, he wanted Steve happy.

Tony heard the loud boom of laughing coming from none other than the God of Thunder himself. "Oh, allow me to take little Odin from you."

Thor picked up his son who had snuggled himself in the crook of his uncles arm. The other two sleeping babes had stirred hearing their Uncle Thor's voice and the youngest was starting to fuss. Tony shifted so he could pick Clint and Johnny's daughter up over his shoulder rubbing his back.

"He's a pro, Uncle Steve!" Suzie beamed up at her other uncle from Tony's lap.

"I always knew he would be, Suzie Q. Come on. Let us go find your mommy and daddy." Steve took Suzie's hand. "You got this, Tone?"

All the other children were gone and it was just Suzie and the baby over his shoulder. Nodding, he smiled up at Steve. "Yeah. Clint home?"

"Yeah. He'll be up in a minute."

Tony stood, shaking his head. "I'll meet him out there."

Later on after dinner, Tony came out of the bathroom off the bedroom he shared with Steve to find Steve sitting on the bed sketching. Tony loved moments like this. He could stare at Steve watching him draw all day long. It was the only time Tony ever felt he was able to totally relax.

"What is on the sketch pad for the night?"

Steve looked up at his lover, smiling, pink filling his cheeks. There had been a time when he didn't share them with anyone, but he loved sharing his drawings with Tony. He always had the best things to say about them. Sometimes it was sarcastic, but never judgmental. Steve loved sharing them with him. This one, before today, he would have never been able to show him. It showed something he had wanted for a while, but knew they would never have. All that changed today.

Turning the sketch pad around when Tony sat on the bed by him, Steve let him see his heart's desire. Looking up into Steve's eyes, Tony nodded. He knew exactly what Steve wanted, and now he was willing to give it to him. He knew he could handle it. He knew with Steve's love, the two of them could do this. Tony had wanted it for so long, and now the fire was ignited in Tony as well. They would do this.

"Alright."

It was all Tony said, and Steve knew exactly what it meant. He still couldn't believe his ears though. He knew Tony hadn't wanted children. He was afraid, and Steve never pushed, he never complained that all their friends were having children and they weren't. He never did anything to pressure Tony into it. But here he was, agreeing to it.

"Really?"

"Yeah. We'll start discussing it tomorrow. Right now," Tony leaned forward, taking the sketchbook and charcoal away from Steve and placing it on the bedside table, "I want to make love to my man."

Steve's cheeks turned darker than they had been a moment ago. No matter how long he was with Tony, he would still feel butterflies in his stomach every time he looked at him, touched him, made love to him. He never wanted to lose that feeling. He knew as long as he was with Tony, he never would.

Tony closed the distance between the two of them and let his lips cover his lover's lips. "I love you, Steve," Tony murmured there before deepening this kiss. He was still scared, but there was nothing he wouldn't do for the man he loved. Nothing.


End file.
